Relationships are complex, you have to harmonize two universes in a single project. But how to achieve it?

You have to be clear about one thing, in a relationship, you cannot grow, heal or evolve if only one person focuses on it. The cooperation of the two partners is needed to face challenges, difficulties and joys. Let's review how to be emotionally intelligent in your relationships.

1. Know yourself.

Become aware and recognize your emotional states: How do I feel? How do I express my emotions? In what part of my body do I feel my emotions?

Something that is also fundamental in the self-knowledge when it comes to be in a relationship is to clarify what are your expectations towards your partner?, what do you expect to receive?, how do you expect to be treated?.

2. Regulate your emotions

You decide and you have control over your life, your emotions and your reactions. Nobody can make you react or feel a certain way, you decide to react or feel those things. You can handle your emotions so they do not overflow. You have control over them.

When you regulate your emotional world, you are able to relate more consciously and assertively with your partner. You have the ability to see what works and does not work in the relationship.

3. Motivation

The motivation is born from within. Motivation and emotions go hand in hand. When you regulate your emotions, when you recognize, accept and understand what happens to you internally and work to improve it, you awaken the inner motivation.

Self-motivation is essential to feel more personal well-being and in your relationship. When you are motivated and your emotions are calm, you are able to communicate better with your partner and there is more capacity to put yourself in her or his place.

4. Do the same with your partner

It is vital that you are in constant discovery of your partner. We all change with time and hence the needs, feelings, desires and expectations are going to change. So the person you were with a year ago is not exactly the same person you have by your side now.

Self-regulation is the ability to respond in a productive way to what happened, analyze one's own actions and results in order to think of a different and better response for the next time it occurs. Do not repeat what did not work.

Although the motivation is internal, what can you do to motivate your partner, so that he/she wants to continue loving you and being with you?

Pablo Munoz