Fear Of Success
This is a controversial issue, the fear of success. Apparently we all want to be successful, we all seek self-realization, we all want to be happy. However, most of our failures and limitations come because of this fear of success. Many people, unfortunately, do not reach true satisfaction in their lives, nor do they develop all their potentialities. The problem is that many times this fear of success has unconscious reasons. Sometimes they will be conscious, but most of them are unconscious.
How to detect if you are afraid of success?
Some of the indicators that someone may be afraid of success are:
1) You do not get what you want. It is clear what you want but you are not getting it.
2) Feel guilty about your achievements or successes and try to hide or minimize them.
3) You do not talk about your achievements, you think that "you have to be humble", "you do not have to be presumptuous".
4) You avoid or postpone projects that can make you feel good.
5) Frequently you compromise your wishes and your projects so you do not have a conflict with someone else.
But if we all apparently want to be successful and happy, why do not we allow ourselves to be and experience it. Some of the reasons or causes of fear of success are:
1) Fear of rejection or emotional abuse by family or friends when we begin to succeed. When you are successful people around you can experience envy and that brings a rejection process. Envy is a process in which the other will try to destroy what he does not have. In this process of trying to destroy what this person do not have, also attacks himself. If someone envies you, it means that you are creating something new
2) False concepts about power, success and money. Many times we can have false concepts about power, success and money reflected in such phrases saying "money is not easy to get", "if someone has so much money who knows what bad thing he have done", "who has power will abuse it". These ideas of negative connotation are going to make us feel "bad" or rejected if we have power, success or money.
3) Self-limiting ideas. A belief is an idea that tries to explain the world in which we live. It is not necessarily true, but it is going to become your truth, the way you see the world. The 5 steps to overcome a belief are:
a) Identify it. What is that belief that can be associated with affirmations such as "I cannot ...", "it is very difficult ..." "there are many limits ..." "this is not for me..."
b) Identify who told you that idea, what was the origin, what was the emotional context. Many self-limiting beliefs are linked to our parents, or people who have been significant in our lives and not living these ideas would make us feel, unconsciously, as betray or separation from them.
c) Identify what benefits this belief brings you, how this belief keeps you in your comfort zone.
d) Remember your successes and how you felt when you had these successes.
e) Establish a new belief based on thoughts and actions.
How to overcome the fear of success.
Once clarified what or what are the self-limiting ideas and the false concepts about success it is important to strengthen the self-esteem, really esteem ourselves. Let's start by defining what it is esteem: Esteem is the subjective value that we are going to give to a certain person or thing based on three aspects:
1) What are the qualities of this person or thing?
2) What is my emotional connection with this person or thing?
3) What is the history of this person or thing?
The question then is what it is your value, what is valuable in you? Many times we are content to comply with daily obligations and duties and do not reflect on who we really are and do not really know ourselves.
The most important thing in the life of a human being should be to know oneself and then exploit all their potential and fully enjoy life.