New York City

In our society it is valued to "be fit", to go to the gym, have a certain diet to be "fit" but we should ask what we do to be "fit mentally"? Many times we will worry more about our exterior than our interior.

First let's define what is not and what it is, in fact, mental strength because many times it is thought that a mentally strong person is a calculating, distant or even aggressive person. It is common to hear expressions like "I am strong in character" as an excuse to express anger or violence. The latter is more evidence of a lack of emotional intelligence.

Mental strength is not synonymous with mental health. You can be strong mentally but that does not mean that you cannot suffer from depression, anxiety or even being a sociopath. Being mentally strong does not mean that you should always be self-sufficient and never need to ask for help. On the contrary, knowing what your weaknesses and limitations will allow you to know how to deal with them and to compensate them.

Mental strength is to recognize your emotions, understand them and know how they can affect your thoughts and behaviours.

The mental strength is to seek constant development. This does not mean that you are constantly chasing happiness or that you force yourself to remain happy all the time, or be "positive" but to focus on how you can grow and be better

To develop a mental strength it is necessary to find the courage to live according to your values ​​and be bold enough to create your own definition of success.

Mental strength is not just about having willpower, but it really requires a decision on your part to invest in your own development and establish a commitment to yourself to achieve it.

Then I propose 10 strategies to strengthen yourself mentally.

  1. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That leads to feeling inferior or not being good enough. To think that the circumstances around you are against you will slow you down in your development. It is to stop hiding behind events or behind the idea that circumstances are not "ideal" to do certain things.
  2. Seek and accept the change. You have to be open and willing to look for new options, listen to new opinions or experiences and then decide what else you want for yourself.
  3. Know how to distinguish between the things you can change and the things you cannot change. Many times we spend a lot of energy thinking about the things we can't change. Mental strength is about knowing that you can control your actions and reactions but not those of others.
  4. Don't worry or focus on pleasing others. Your actions are to achieve things that you want even when others also benefit from it. Also doing things to be accepted by others will weaken us mentally. We cannot make our value depend solely on the valuation that others make on us.
  5. Don't overthink the past. Learn from past experiences, however, they will not determine your present actions. We tend to repeat past actions when we do not process our feelings.
  6. Envy the success of others will weaken us mentally. When you try to destroy someone's success, you will boycott your own success by stopping using that mental energy for your own development.
  7. Give yourself time to be alone, to explore, to know and to rediscover you.
  8. Avoid thoughts/feelings of “deserving” something. Thinking that you "deserve" something will take away strength or momentum to fight and get what you want. This creates a passive position in life.
  9. Dare to take calculated risks. Staying in the comfort zone will weaken you mentally.
  10. Do not expect immediate results. Current technology offers immediate results in many things, however, human interaction and projects take time to create, to grow and to develop.

When you decide to invest in your mental strength, in your growth and personal development, here I am for you and we talk about it in psychotherapy.

Pablo Munoz